Saturday, May 19, 2007subterranean homesick alien
The breath of the morning
I keep forgetting
The smell of the warm summer air
I live in a town where you can't smell a thing
You watch your feet for cracks in the pavement
Up above aliens hover
Making home movies for the folks back home
Of all these weird creatures who lock up their spirits
Drill holes in themselves and live for their secretsThey're all uptightI wish that they'd swoop down in a country lane
Late at night when I'm driving
Take me on board their beautiful ship
Show me the world as I'd love to see it
I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely
I'd show them the stars and the meaning of life
They'd shut me away
But I'd be alrightI'm just uptightPull me out of the aircrash,
Pull me out of the lake,
I'm your superhero,
we are standing on the edge.
I'm on a roll,
I'm on a roll this time
I feel my luck could change.
NETHERLANDS, Scheveningen.
Strummed at 11:37 AM (x)
Thursday, May 17, 2007get lonely
shadows on the broad lawn,
canopy of trees.
some time after midnight,
the ground is gonna freeze.
birds in the frosty air,
what are they doing there?
greenhouse full of butcher's broom,
breezes at my back.
some time before the sun comes up,
the earth is gonna crack.
I look down at my hands,
like they were mirrors.fresh coffee at sunrise,
warm my lips against the cup.
been waiting such a long time now,
my number's finally coming up.
all the neighbors come on out to their front porches,
waving torches.-"New Monster Avenue"-Paddy Clarke-
Paddy Clarke-
Has no da.
Ha ha ha!
I didn't listen to them. They were only kids.Something happened: I started crying. I went to thump him and before I had a fist made I was crying. I hung on to his nose for a while longer, just to be holding him. I didn't know why I was crying; it shocked me. I let go of his nose. I put my arms around him. My hands touched around the back. He stayed hard and closed. I thought my arms would soften him. They'd have to.I was hugging a statue. I couldn't even smell him because my nose was full of snot and I couldn't get rid of it. I stayed that way because I didn't want to give up. My arms got sore. My crying turned into a hum; no tears. I wondered did Sinbad - Francis - know that I'd been crying? Because of him, mostly.I couldn't stop myself from crying these days.I let go of him.-Francis?-Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Hai jumped in the river and what did I see?
black-eyed angels swimming with me;
a moon full of stars and astral cars.
all the figures i used to see,
all my lovers were there with me,
all my past and futures,
and we all went to heaven in a little row boat.there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt.-"Pyramid Song"
Strummed at 9:37 PM (x)
Tuesday, May 15, 2007pioneer
msn. ouch.a big thank you to ms chock, yi yang, shawn ang and arthur for today's heartwarming prank. i think it sort of like raised everyone's tensions up and then released it all in one go. so i feel kinda cleansed.quite emotional seeing how tight this cohort is through the picture slideshow. also making me feel even worse for missing out on the first orientation. but most importantly made me realise how i've been looking so narrowly recently, as though life was just about getting through the schoolwork.though it still doesn't ignore the fact that time is running on.cue: fond memories with my ib class: walking into 5.6 judges the first day (having expected to be in 5.8), staring at the name list to find the names of 3 girls, 3 'lan's, and stifling the laughter.sitting at the back of class with zheng yang, "we outcasts, don't know anybody one".mrt rides home entertaining ourselves conning gongjiao about everything and anything.beijing oep. late night footie. talking with the sloth.watching the softball finals. both years.presenting philo of winning with alex, our volunteers zhihao and greg lim.big fish followed by soccer(again) till 4am at loyang chalet.the last dinner with mrs lee gan soon bee. who we all started out hating but ended up respecting. i think she had never met a case as curious as mine before.not forgetting the constant bridge, daidi, texas, 7 hand poker, hearts, spades, blackjack.and thats just with the class. the last year was actually such a rush, there was SO MUCH that happened.
Strummed at 9:50 PM (x)
Sunday, May 06, 2007amnesiac
i just found out recently that the lovely lisa hannigan will no longer be singing with damien rice. pity. they made an amazing pair on 'o'.sufjan stevens wrote an interesting article some time ago about a new genre called friend rock.finished tok essay to the tune of amnesiac. bloody frustrating. time spent formatting is probably comparable to the time spent writing it. life in a glasshouse. of course i'd like to sit around and chat. of course i'd like to stay and chew the fat.suckcess.on monday i played tennis for the first time ever. and it probably screwed my back more. ouch. i really need to watch it.volcanoes melt you down.
Strummed at 11:15 PM (x)
Thursday, May 03, 2007pagani zonda
oh well it's been a topsy turvy week.friday was when i saw nigel koh and andrew win the first ever treble for the school. squash a, b and c div. kinda amazing la. kwong's sad cuz he wanted sailing to be the first. i'm happy for them. nigel sits next to me in class. he's pro.pity i didn't have my camera with me when i was in the vip lounge of the kallang stadium. got a hand on ms petria thomas' athens 04 gold medal. her talk was ok la.slam was interesting. matthew ge's glasgow kiss was brave, though it never matched the level of the original. more interesting was seeing my neighbour ben kwok's band playing. transit party lol. the band let him down la. but i knew ben to be a showman, so it was quite a treat to see him on the stage.deluge was impressive.afterwards i learnt that my classmates in softball had won their match too.well yesterday i sailed for the first time in a month. wow.and on the way to nsc my mom was driving us next to a yellow pagani zonda. wow. haha and jackson said there's only 42 of them in the world. wikipedia tells me otherwise. but anyway i told lionel apparently there are more world champions than pagani zondas in this world. wow.I'm standing on a stage
of fear and self-doubt
It's a hollow play,
but they'll clap anyway.
My body is a cage
that keeps me from dancing
with the one I love,
but my mind holds the key.thinking about the video. haha if i'm not wrong the french aren't particularly fond of the english. overthetop gear.
Strummed at 11:49 PM (x)
Tuesday, May 01, 2007shower
first shower was to disguise the hot tears. second shower was to tidy the thoughts. third and final shower was to refresh anew.there are many words i can use, but there's no point in repeating. i feel utterly hopeless now. but ya. refresh. please.the thing is that, although there are always more reasons to be happy than to be sad, happiness is always taken for granted, meanwhile sadness always kicks you that much harder because everything will all seem to crumble together. i just sit down in the corner spiraling ever south.i'm lucky because
i have two caring parents, i'm well off, i'm in school, i've no disabilities, i have friends, i can survive the week if i strivebecause
the world can be startlingly beautiful at times, there's music to be discovered, there is air, water and sailing is still as amazing as it has ever been.yet woe is me because i get shot down despite giving my all, time in school has never been so fruitless before, i'm being denied everything that i take pleasure in. i haven't sailed in a month and i feel horrible. oh man even the thought of meals bore me. i drag my feet cuz they weigh a ton. the mind is loaded.even the thought of the many times that i've fallen and picked myself up again is depressing. damn i've never entertained thoughts of giving up so often. i don't hear you no more i don't hear you no more.
shower. shower of affection.
Strummed at 11:36 PM (x)
don't think twice, it's alright
hooray for labour day. i'm feeling happily nostalgic today.along with simon and garfunkel, peter, paul and mary were an early influence on my music. it was probably the only music i remembered since it stood out from all the other classical music my parents played when i was young.here's a medley of some of my favourite p, p & m.In the early mornin' rain
With a dollar in my hand
And an aching in my heart
And my pockets full of sand
I'm a long way from home,
And I miss my loved one so
In the early mornin' rain
With no place to go.Out on runway number nine,
Big seven-o-seven set to go
But I'm out here on the grass
Where the pavement never grows
Well the liquor tasted good
And the women all were fast
There she goes my friend,
She's rollin' down at last.Hear the mighty engine roar,
See the silver wing on high
She's away and westward bound
Far above the clouds she'll fly
Where the mornin' rain don't fall
And the sun always shines
She'll be flyin' o're my home
In about three hours time.This old airport's got me down,
It's no earthly good to me
Cause I'm stuck here on the ground,
Cold and drunk, as I might be.
Can't jump a jet plane
Like you can a freight trainSo I'd best be on my way
In the early mornin' rain.i just spoke to manyi over msn. she's in portugal - just finished racing the eurolympics with a credible 29th. analysed these results with cai. funny to find a jens lehmann at 84th in the men's 470s.When I was just a lad of ten
My father said to me,
"Come here and take a lesson
From the lovely lemon tree."
"Don't put your faith in love, my boy",
My father said to me,
"I fear you'll find that love is like
The lovely lemon tree."One day beneath the lemon tree,
My love and I did lie
A girl so sweet that when she smiled
The stars rose in the sky.
We passed that summer lost in love
Beneath the lemon tree
the music of her laughter
Hid my father's words from meOne day she left without a word.
She took away the sun.
And in the dark she left behind,
I knew what she had done.
She'd left me for another,
It's a common tale but true.
A sadder man but wiser now
I sing these words to you:Lemon tree very pretty
And the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor lemon
Is impossible to eat.i'm a happy boy cuz greg has sent me 'install a beak in the heart...' destruction of small ideas is out i believe.It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe,
It don't matter, anyhow.
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe,
If you don't know by now.
When the rooster crows at the break of dawn,
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm travelin' on,
Don't think twice it's all right.It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe,
Light I never know'd
It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe,
I'm on the dark side of the road.
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay,
We never did too much talkin' anyway,
Don't think twice it's all right.I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe,
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye is too good a word gal,
So I'll just say "fair-thee-well"
I ain't saying you treated me unkind,
You coulda done better, but I don't mind
You just sorta wasted my precious time,
Don't think twice it's all right.It ain't no use in callin' out my name gal,
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name gal,
I can't hear you anymore.
I'm a thinkin' and a wonderin'
All the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told,I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul,
Don't think twice it's all right.
Strummed at 12:19 AM (x)